Franglo

I am so tired these days and not sure how to fix it. A three-day weekend helps a bit, but then Monday rolls around, and no amount of yoga, meditation or taking time for myself is giving me a spring in my step I used to have.

This weekend I did two yoga classes and spent Sunday reading by the pool, and I am sitting through this meeting trying to concentrate but having a hard time. 

I can’t quite put my finger on the reason. Is this what it’s like to be a working parent? Did the three-hour commute always take this much out of you? Is this what it’s like to be a member of corporate society? Am I just bored with life and feeling this is all a little hopeless?

With less disposable income, travel has become more expensive, so a quick getaway to reset on a beach is near impossible.

In June, I took a short weekend away to celebrate the 50th wedding anniversary of my parents. My parents are on the other side of the country, and it takes a day to get there and back, and three full days of activities, I did not come back rested. It was nice to see them, but always emotional to say goodbye, knowing I won’t see them for another year. 

My organization has been in flux for six months to a year. I am physically and emotionally exhausted from the work put on us and watching my friends choose to leave. The more people that leave, the more the pile of work grows. The constant flux means new management, new roles and disappointment in knowing that if you work your butt off, there is still not able to move up due to internal restrictions and the flattening of the organization. 

I am unsatisfied with most aspects of my life but still need to figure out how to fix it. 

• I have taken stock of my personal needs, and I can’t do full-time work from home; it goes against my extrovert nature; I need humans to make me happy. 
• To make a change in Montreal, I must improve my French abilities; that is a challenging journey. 
• I don’t have hope that my teenage step-children will magically see me as anything other than their Dad’s partner; I will not find existential joy here. 
• Fifty is next year. Do you still take risks in your career at this point? When does ageism kick in? How long am I employable? 

Do we live out the last 15-20 years writing decks but feel you add no value to the corporate world?

Thoughts?